Tatiana Tuesday

Hey, remember yesterday when I was talking about how funny those wacky kids at “Parks & Recreation” are? Well, they’re also brilliant. Because – as you hopefully already know – they’re bringing in Tatiana Maslany to play a two-episode arc next season. You know Tatiana Maslany – the woman who plays like 722 characters on “Orphan Black,” all brilliantly. She’ll be playing a love interest for Tom Haverford. I’m not wild about that, because he’s like my least favorite character on the show. And that’s including Jerry.



But I am wild about Tatiana. And I’m certain she’ll be amazing because she is amazing in everything. And I can’t wait to see her in the world of Pawnee. Or has she been there all along? I mean she is Tatiana Maslany. And Tatiana Maslany is undeniably awesome. So awesome she’s even mesmerizing to watch on Vine.




Also did you notice Tatiana is wearing a tank top? She is so perfect, she even knows how to dress appropriately for the day.

p.s. If you happened to miss the first season of “Orphan Black,” or just want to relive the magic, BBC America will start playing an encore showing this Saturday. Oh, Maslany, I lit-rally cannot wait for Season 2.

Parks & Monday

Monday, Monday. Nothing as predictable as the inevitable mundanity of the perpetual restarting of the work week. What can be done in the face of such a case of the day-before-Tuesday? Simple. Be like that lovable chim-chimney sweep Bert. Love to laugh. But what at? So many option. Republican attempts at minority outreach? Anthony Weiner’s mayoral campaign? Justin Bieber?

Nope, nope. Yes, but also nope. No, when I want to laugh I like to leave it to the professionals. Because serious laughs are serious business. Seriously funny. Which is why the best way to start your Monday is with the gang from “Parks & Recreation.” And, hard workers that they are, they provided us some 20-minutes of gag reel for their Season 5 DVD. That’s a lot of laughs, friends. A lot.

Please enjoy. And know that nothing makes your bored co-workers more jealous on a mind-numbing Monday than seeing you shake with laughter at your desk. You’re welcome.

My Weekend Crush

Because I’ve been in a confess my senility kind of mood of late, I’ll confess to often mixing up Alison Pill and Thora Birch. I mean, you can see it, right? Sometimes I also get Mae Whitman confused with all three, as well. But Alison Pill is the one who played the lesbian in “Milk” and drummer in “Scott Pilgrim vs. the World” and best friend in “Confessions of a Teenage Drama” and daughter in “An Unexpected Love” (don’t lie, you know you totally watched that Lifetime movie). Nowadays she is best know as one of the stars of “The Newsroom,” which I don’t watch and feel kind of bad about because I probably should watch. Anyway, this is a long way of saying, hey, you know Alison Pill?

Well, I hadn’t thought much more about her – other than she seems like a promising young actress – until I saw a clip of her on Conan from this week. And, can I just say, this is the perfect way to handle an embarrassing social media faux pas. Alison was so refreshingly honest about the incident, where she accidentally tweeted out a topless picture of herself almost year ago because she wasn’t familiar with her new touchscreen Blackberry. (And, yes, that link is NSFW.) Immediately after her Anthony Weiner-moment she tweeted an admission that, “Yep. That picture happened.” and apologized to her followers. No, “I was hacked.” No, “The dog did it.” Just, “I fucked up, damn.” Just as refreshing is her refusal to be slut-shamed for having nekkid pictures of herself on her phone. And for lusting after Nancy Pelosi. In short, if you’re going to have an embarrassing technological moment – and haven’t we all been there, with or without showing that much skin – please handle it with as much grace, humor and aplomb as Alison. Happy weekend, all.

When Nikki met Nora

Want to watch a series with two hot female leads who solve crimes and make out? No, really, do you want to watch them make out? And not just in your head? Subtext is all fun and good, but we always need the real deal. So imagine my pleasure when I heard that the folks behind the unaired pilot of “Nikki & Nora” were back. Almost a decade after giving it a go for network TV, the series lives again in the form of a crowd-funded webseries.

For those of you unfamiliar with the 2004 pilot, “Nikki & Nora” was a crime drama about two female police partners in New Orleans who go the bad guys and each other – if you know what I mean. Nikki Beaumont was played by “CSI”-alum Liz Vassey and Nora Delany was played by “Better Than Chocolate” star Christina Cox. Did I mention they made out in the show, because they did. At the time it was billed as the first lesbian-themed drama series up for serious consideration for network TV. And, yes, get prepared to scream “Tasha!” and “Agent Derek Morgan!” shortly after pressing play.



(You can watch the unaired pilot in full here on DailyMotion.)

Now, nine years later, the pilot’s creator Nancylee Myatt (also creator of that teenage dream “South of Nowhere”) is back with “The N&N Files.” She’s co-producing with “SoN” writing alum Paige Bernhardt and Tello Film President Christin Mell. Also back are the pilot’s original stars, Liz and Christina. The project raised $65,000 on Indiegogo (way to go-go, guys) and now they’ve released their first trailer. The result is big-time easy (see what I did there, Big Easy/big-time easy – oy, the puns today) on the eyes.



Watching was, once again, a game of spot the co-star. Look, the principal from “Buffy!” Look, the lab tech from “CSI!” Look, the friend from “SoN!” And of course Liz and Christina – who are playing private investigators instead of police detectives this time out – are lovely together. Look, you know I love me some silly subtext (p.s. your gayzzoli recap of the week will post this afternoon), but nothing beats the real thing. No we just need a chocolate body painting scene between these two, for old time’s sake.

The fist first (Freudian typo alert) season of series should be available on One More Lesbian soon was just announced will release on Dec. 1.

Girls Don't Deserve It

“Blurred Lines” is undeniably catchy. I do a little shimmy to it in the car every damn time it comes on. But “Blurred Lines” is also undeniably sexist. I’ve only watched the video in full once, because watching dudes in suits preen while nearly naked (or in the unedited video’s case, plain-old naked) women strut for their pleasure is too much for my little feminist heart to take no matter how catchy the damn song.

Granted, a lot of music and accompanying music videos are sexist. But there’s something about the sexism of the “Blurred Lines” video – especially the orgy of objectification in the unrated version where it’s literally just topless girls bouncing around while Robin Thicke and Pharrell Williams leer at them – that makes my skin crawl. Look, I love naked ladies – a lot. A LOT. But respect is at the heart of that sometimes blurry line between objectification and appreciation. And I don’t think a song where men brag about being “big enough to tear your ass in two” really respects the women it sings about. Even worse, it plays its casual sexism off as so, so cool – like objectification chic. Plus don’t get me started on all the douchey hashtags.

So over the weekend I was happy to hear about a great feminist parody response to “Blurred Lines.” About time some gals tweaked (not twerked, dear God, not twerked) the concept. And my, did they tweak. The video “Defined Lines” is by a group of University of Auckland law students - Olivia Lubbock, Zoe Ellwood and Adelaide Dunn. The parody was part of the Law Revue show, which included some 40 other comedic skits. Fantastic, no? Also, it’s good for us gals and our gay boy friends. So much beefcake in white briefs. Turnaround, fair play, all these things.

Of course, this being the man’s world the ladies sing about, the video was briefly banned from YouTube because it was deemed “inappropriate.” Never mind that both the PG-13 and R-rated versions of Thicke’s original video are up and have never been banned. Luckily, the parody video was restored and can now be viewed and enjoyed in full. I mean, how can you not love a song that includes the words “misogyny,” “chauvinistic,” “emasculate,” “vibrator,” and “castration?”

Of course, again, this isn’t the first time YouTube’s seemed blurry on the concept of a double-standard. Another gender-swapped parody of “Blurred Lines” posted back in July got slapped with an age inappropriate filter (which since has been removed, thankfully).

So now, when “Blurred Lines” comes on the radio, I’m still going to shimmy. But I just might change the lyrics. So we can fuck this man’s world, indeed.

You down with R.B.G.

It’s badass ladies of a certain age week here at Surrenders. So it’s already a true fact that Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg is a certified badass. The 80-year-old (R.B.G. if you’re nasty) has been on the highest bench in the land for 20 years and in that time she has been a champion of women’s rights, abortion rights, gay rights and voting rights. If you recall, she asked the epic question during the DOMA hearings about skim milk marriage:

They (the 1,000-plus benefits offered to married couples under federal law) touch every aspect of life. Your partner is sick. Social Security. I mean, it's pervasive. It's not as though, well, there's this little federal sphere and it's only a tax question. ... And so he was really diminishing what the state has said is marriage. You’re saying, no, state marriage [is] the full marriage, and then this sort of skim milk marriage.

And she was, of course, among the majority who overturned DOMA and found the Prop. 8 proponents did not have the standing to bring the case and essentially overturning the proposition as well. And this weekend she became the first Supreme Court Justice to officiate a same-sex marriage. On Saturday she presided over the wedding of Kennedy Center President Michael M. Kaiser and economist John Roberts. Factoid: R.B.G is a huge fan of opera and close friends with Kaiser. Another Factoid: R.B.G. will be conducting another same-sex wedding this month. Counter Factoid: Justice Clarence Thomas performed (one of) the weddings of radio windbag Rush Limbaugh. Yeah, now you’re even more down with R.B.G.



Also, you’ve got to love the snarky precision of some of her arguments. In writing the dissenting opinion of the Court’s gutting of the Voting Rights Act she wrote:

Throwing out preclearance when it has worked and is continuing to work to stop discriminatory changes is like throwing away your umbrella in a rainstorm because you are not getting wet.

And when asked a couple of years ago how many women on the Supreme Court would be enough, she answered – naturally - nine:

Also, have I mentioned she beat cancer twice, has a penchant for lace gloves and has her own dedicated Tumblr blog called – what else – Notorious R.B.G.

Xtreme Dream

Hey, you know what’s badass? Being a 64-year-old female lesbian endurance swimmer and making history by becoming the only person in history to make the some 110-miles swim in open water from Cuba to Florida without a shark cage, flippers or wet suit. Diana Nyad accomplished her 35-year dream of completing the unprecedented swim today after 52 hrs, 54 mins and 18.6 sec. This was her fifth and final try at the swim – other attempts had been stopped by jellyfish stings, boat troubles and storms. Today was a truly awe-inspiring feat of human endurance, determination and both physical and mental strength. Think about going that distance. Think about taking that time. Think about all that open water. There are not enough congratulations in the world. But, hey, here’s one from President Barack Obama.

Congratulations to @DianaNyad. Never give up on your dreams.

— Barack Obama (@BarackObama) September 2, 2013

My only complaint is in no way a reflection of Diana’s phenomenal accomplishment, which once again was phenomenal. But it’s about the terrible coverage given by the live TV crews covering the finish of her swim. When it became apparent she was going to land on a spot further down the beach, none of the live crews bothered to hoof it the 300 feet to catch her actually emerging from the water. NONE. I had three live local streams up as well as CNN (which was using a local feed as well) on my screen and they all showed either the back of a big throng of people way far down the beach and/or palm trees blowing gently in the wind at the historic moment. Cool, good job, guys. No worries, I’m sure tons of people do this all the time. Oh, wait, nope – she’s the only one. (Another swimmer made the crossing in 1997, but with a shark cage.)

The good news, PBS NewsHour did manage to run down the beach and catch her just post landing greeting her supporters. Thank you, public television. And congratulations, Diana Nyad. Dream your dreams because you’re never too old to be a total fucking badass.



Hey, did I mention she is 64? Yeah. Like I was saying, total badass.



UPDATE: Finally, some great footage from the Florida Keys county tourist development council.