Water, water everywhere

Another rushed day, another late post. In all the hustle and bustle and bullshit it is good to breathe deeply and remind yourself “This is water.” Please take 9 minutes to yourself and enjoy David Foster Wallace’s 2005 Kenyon College commencement speech (slightly abridged) and delicately animated.

And, if you haven’t already, pop on by Hyperbole and a Half to see the first post from the always brilliant Allie Brosh in almost two years. It’s about depression and is dark but true and also terribly funny. Which is pretty much life for you.

The JLaw of Delight

Oh, Jennifer Lawrence. Just when we think you’re the most delightful person in Hollywood you go and delight us some more. At this point she is clearly the entire Internet’s BFF. Be it her effortless relatability or guileless charm, she is – quite simply – the best. She’s the opposite of stand-offish – no emo red carpet glares of this gal. The antithesis of too cool for school – which of course only makes even cooler. Hilarious – but in a dorky way. Be she falling on the Oscar steps or freaking out at being hit on by professional skeazy old guy Jack Nicholson, she is awesomely real.

Plus, when this gal mugs for the camera, she actually mugs for the camera. Like photobombing Sarah Jessica Parker at the Met Ball Monday night. And then laughing hysterically like we all would when presented with SPJ’s insane fauxhawk headdress. And that, after all, is what we like best about her. She’s like us – sure an incredibly talented, beautiful, famous, rich version of us – but us none the less. Human, and delightfully so. Never change, JLaw. Never ever change.

p.s. I love Marion Cotillard and Lena Dunham’s reactions to the left and right of her during the photobomb.

p.p.s. She also flubbed President Bill Clinton’s name while hosting the GLAAD Awards (fast forward to 3:55). To not love her is surely a sin.

Tank Top Tuesday: Perks Edition

Slowly, so slowly, but surely I am indeed completing my Indiegogo Perks. Would it help if I told you I’m sorry? No. Well, how about if I said I’m sorry with tank tops? Here are the Thank You Perks for the people who pledged at Tank Top level. So, perhaps you should be thanking them as well? These are the tank top dedication subjects you choose. So please accept my endless gratitude for your generosity in the form of two thank top pictures each as a continued apology for my tardiness. Everyone else, please enjoy with my compliments.

Sasha Alexander


Thanks, Lynda!

Sarah Shahi

Thanks, Nedley!

Lauren German

Thanks, Lisa!

Amanda Seyfried

Thanks, Catvix!

Lindsey Shaw

Thanks, @UhHuhDaggr!

Felicia Day

Thanks, Elle M!

Claire Forlani

Thanks, Babs!

Diana Rigg

Thanks, Cindy S!

p.s. Isn’t Diana awesome in Game of Thrones? And those abs?
Answer: Yes, yes to both.

(Please Note: a few of you never responded to my initial perks emails about who you wanted as your tank top dedication. If you would still like to be included in a future Tank Top Tuesday dedication just reply and I’ll get your selection in there as promised.)

Get in loser, we're going robbing

Mindless fun. Mindless fun. Mindless fun. Say it with me, it just feels good. I don’t know about you, but I’ve been replaying this song in my head since the very first ‘Bling Ring” teaser trailer was released, and each subsequent snippet of the film has only a) increased my desire to watch it and b) increased my desire to dance on tabletops while this song plays. The song in question is “Crown on the Ground” by Sleigh Bells. And that electrocrunky opening riff makes me want to do body shots in a sweaty club. Metaphorically though, because both body shots and sweaty clubs tend to be overrated in real life.

The newest “Bling Ring” trailer showcases both Hermione’s spot on SoCal accent and Dana Fairbanks as her lawyer. (Yes, yes – Emma Watson and Erin Daniels, in real life – I know.) And while the mindless fun of robbing from the rich is the initial appeal, something tells me this movie will manage to sneakily slip in some sharp commentary on our strange celebrity culture. Or, you know, whatever. Get in losers, we’re going robbing.

My Weekend Crush

What I like, what I love, is when people defy expectation, assumption and stereotype and assert their right to do as they please and do it well. When people break boneheaded barriers, when people command deserved respect, when people demand to be treated like a rightful equal. When a female gamer puts male online trolls in their place. Like badass Aisha Tyler. The actress/comedian/gamer’s epic takedown of all the haters posted on Facebook last summer has been making the rounds again this week. It started when Tyler started getting endless shit from dudes about hosting the 2012 Ubisoft E3 press conference last June.

Her response to their misogynistic questioning of her gamer cred is magnificent and deserves repeating. Read the whole damn thing here because that much handing jackasses their own asses must be seen for yourself to be truly appreciated. A sampling:

You think you know. You don't know.

I've been a gamer since before you could read.
Since I aced midterms after staying up all night playing Evil Tetris.
Since I became dorm champ at Leisure Suit Larry.
Since I double-wielded on Time Crisis 3 at Fuddrucker's.

I was a voice in not one, but two major video game titles.
I hosted the Reach Beta tutorial.
I was a Gears of War superfan panelist at ComicCon.
I hosted the Ubisoft presser at E3 2012.
I didn't do any of it for the money.
For most I got paid next to nothing, and for some, less than that.

I did it because I love video games.
Because I've dreamt since I was a kid of being in one of the games I love.
How many games have you done voices for?
How many cons have you repped at?
Your buddy's Unreal Tournament garage deathmatch doesn't count.

I go to E3 each year because I love video games.
Because new titles still get me high.
Because I still love getting swag.
Love wearing my gamer pride on my sleeve.
People ask me what console I play.
Motherfucker, ALL of them.

All that, and how cool is her gun?



And that, that’s what I love. When we refuse to accept the “norm.” Be it in gaming or politics or sports. Just because video games are unfortunately often marketed mainly to men and even more unfortunately mainly made by men, does not mean women do not enjoy and kickass at them as well. If we never challenge those assumptions, say this is just the way it has always and will always be, nothing will ever change. So here’s to the badasses out there fighting the good fight. Game on, ladies. Happy weekend, all.

p.s. On a similar norm-defying note, I saw this on a tow truck while driving down the freeway recently and it made me unreasonably happy.

Our Q.U.E.E.N.

I apologize for taking so long to post today. My only excuse is that I was rocking the fuck out to the undefinable fabulosity of Janelle Monáe featuring the unfathomable fierceness of Erykah Badu. Every time Ms. Monáe puts on a suit and tie and opens her mouth I think, sit down Justin Timberlake, our Q.U.E.E.N. is speaking.

UnfoRettable, that's what she is

Please, treat yo self and watch Retta performing stand up on Jimmy Fallon on Monday night. Also, if you haven’t been watching “Parks & Recreation” this season you have one last chance to redeem yourself on Thursday before the season ends. Peace, love and let’s Barack the choke together.

p.s. You should really be following Retta on the Twitters. For serious. Best delayed live tweets of TV shows ever.