On Faith & Fandom

I am not a religious person. I have never gone to church regularly. My father was a scientist and my first paying job was collecting data in his lab. So I tend to look at deeply religious people with a mix of bemusement, skepticism and wariness. I do not fully understand their faith.

But, here’s the thing, I also believe people are entitled to feel their religious beliefs as deeply as they want. Just as I am free to not believe, they are free to believe. I do not have to agree with their beliefs. But as long as they don’t actively condemn me for my non-belief, I will not actively condemn them for their beliefs. Sure, we can try to change minds, but in the end if we cannot – well – live and let live.

I also do not believe everyone who belongs to a church whose doctrine includes anti-gay rhetoric is themselves anti-gay. Certainly, I wish they’d consider their denomination’s dogma and examine whether it follows their true feelings. But I don’t think all Catholics or Mormons or Scientologists or Southern Baptists are necessarily homophobes even though their religions have been overwhelmingly unsupportive of LGBT people and our rights. The irony of my love the sinner, not the sin approach to deeply religious people is not lost on me.

Which leads me to the recent heated fandom debates – to put it very mildly; you should see the email folder I’ve made for all the messages – over Rachel Skarsten of “Lost Girl” and most recently Laura Prepon of “Orange Is the New Black.” Both have been tied to churches that are reportedly anti-gay. For Rachel it is the Los Angeles church Mosaic and its pastor Erwin McManus. And for Laura it is Scientology and the speculation it had something to do with leaving her show.

McManus is on record seven years ago giving an all-too-familiar kind of soft-focus anti-gay sermon about how “I don’t believe you are in a healthy place when your identity is built around who you have sex with” and other such nonsense that’ll make you grind your teeth. You can download a full podcast of his October 2006 sermon “Life’s Toughest Questions” on iTunes for free. As for Scientology, high-profile claims of homophobia in the church and from its late founder L. Ron Hubbard have been around for ages. You can get trapped in that Google search rabbit hole for days.

I am, admittedly and obviously, not really a fan of either church or leader. And that is being incredibly gracious about my opinion.

But I will also be completely honest and say that I do not indisputably know either women’s level of involvement in their respective churches. I think most people don’t know for certain. Rachel has tweeted about being at Mosaic and has also mentioned a short film she worked on with McManus in a May interview with the blog No White Noise. Laura has said in a 2007 Women’s Health magazine interview that she is a Scientologist, though it’s not totally clear if she’s still involved with the church.

But here is what we do know. Both actresses, regardless of their religions, have signed on to play overtly lesbian or bisexual roles on television shows with overtly lesbian and bisexual content. These are not shows that stumbled upon their LGBT content during sweeps week. These are shows that wore it proudly from the start. Hell, we saw hot lesbian shower action in the first 10 seconds on OITNB. Both women have promoted their shows, championed their stories and given interviews with the LGBT press, including exclusive interview by both Rachel and Laura with us big-time lezzers at AfterEllen.

Earlier this month Laura said in an interview with Canada.com:

I’m a supporter of the gay and lesbian community. I have friends who are lesbian, I have friends who are gay. It’s all about the character. Yes there are a lot of lesbians on this show. Besides the L Word there aren’t lesbians portrayed like this on television. For me, I’ve never played a lesbian before and I think it’s awesome. As a learning experience playing this love for someone on camera and having it be a women was very interesting because I’m straight and I’ve only done it with men on camera. There is a big gay and lesbian community out there and it’s good to have more relationships on television that they can relate to and I’m glad we could be a part of that.

And a week ago Rachel tweeted:

What's all this noise guys? To clarify: I firmly believe in equality for all & have nothing but love for the LGBT community. Rach

— Rachel Skarsten (@RachieSkarsten) August 13, 2013

Does this absolve them of their church’s beliefs? No. And I truly hope each person who believes differently from her religion would work to change its discriminatory practices. So, yes, I am disappointed in both to a degree. And you are perfectly entitled to feel disappointed and upset. But just as we in the LGBT community do not want to be prejudged as a whole, I will not prejudge their hearts. Prove to me you are not worth my tolerance.

I choose not to eat at Chik-fil-A because its CEO has made it perfectly clear that he thinks same-sex marriage will destroy families and the company has donated millions to anti-gay groups working against our rights. I choose not to shop at Hobby Lobby because the company is suing the government to not have to provide health care coverage for contraceptives, and because each July 4 since 2008 they’ve run full-page newspaper ads espousing the need for religion in the government (this year’s included pointed condemnation of Supreme Court judges as a result of the DOMA and Prop. 8 decisions). I choose not to see “Ender’s Game” because its writer Orson Scott Card actively supported an aggressively anti-gay agenda for years including his self-penned belief that marriage equality “marks the end of democracy in America,” and also sounds more than a little accidentally racist. Not that being accidentally racist is a thing, Brad Paisley.

And I choose to laugh my ass off at that decrepit relic of bigotry Pat Robertson because, you know, how could you not.

I make these choices because I believe in their core these people/organizations wish gay people ill will. They would rather we not exist altogether, but if we must exist be seen as unnatural, unworthy things.

Now, some folks may be very upset at my refusal to condemn either Rachel or Laura off hand. You are mad that they went to those churches in the first place. You are mad that they talked about their religions at all. I can see where you’re coming from. Though it should be noted that Rachel was specifically asked what projects she was working on besides “Lost Girl” in the interview in question. And so she answered accordingly.

Thing is, when we start telling people what they can and cannot say about something that matters in their lives, then how different are we than the people who tell us what we can or cannot say about ourselves? The people who tell us to keep our lives quiet and stop being so blatant and other words synonymous for “couldn’t you please just be invisible.”

I will not be invisible. But I will also not force other people to be. And if we truly are in a battle for the hearts and minds for those people and organizations that do not accept us, we will need people on our side on the inside. We need LGBT friendly Catholics and Mormons and Scientologists and Southern Baptists and everything in between. We cannot do it alone. We need allies everywhere.

Calling someone a homophobe is a powerful thing not to be taken lightly. A homophobe hates us. A homophobe fears us. A homophobe fights against us in words or actions. A homophobe thinks we truly are an abomination and wants us to be treated as such.

Certainly, one could argue that simply being a part of or participating in a church that feels we are not totally equal is in itself is an act of homophobia. It’s a thorny morale balancing act and one I myself find problematic. But life is complicated and filled with every shade of gray imaginable. Just as I choose to not support people/organizations that have a proven history of not supporting me, I also choose to see the best in people as long as I can. Guilt by association is just that.

If either woman proves herself to be truly guilty, to truly hate us in her heart of hearts, I will not hesitate to call her out. I will be deeply saddened and hurt and angry. I will be mad as fucking hell. But until that time, until they show me otherwise, I will accept their support for us at face value.

Hate can consume us, whether from others or ourselves. It’s an insidious, ugly thing that – fast or slow – corrodes our ability to feel all other emotions. I feel bad for those who have it in their hearts. I understand the white-hot rage we feel when it’s directed at us. But pick your battles, and make sure your enemies are really enemies. I may not be a person of faith, but I try to have faith in the goodness and growth of others’ hearts.

ADDENDUM:

“The issue is, and always has been, [insert thing here] promoting a [insert thing here] to an impressionable, vulnerable audience.”

“It is not intended to deprive people of any [insert thing here], but to ban the promotion of [insert thing here] among the young generation.”

The first is some of your arguments about why we should be condemning Rachel Skarsten, the second is Russian Sports Minister Vitali Mutko defending his country’s law banning gay propaganda. One comes from a place of righteous anger about a man who has made homophobic statements in the past, the other comes from a place of hateful anger about a country that is systematically quashing the rights of its LGBT people. I am not comparing the sentiments, which are of course diametrically opposed. But I am comparing the language which we use to justify our demands. If we start to sound like what we are fighting against, we’ve lost already.

Don't You Fucking Leave Us, Alex Vause

Did you hear that sound at about 5:30 p.m. EST/2:30 p.m. PST yesterday afternoon? It was the sound of lesbians everywhere collectively wailing and gnashing their teeth at the news that Laura Prepon is reportedly leaving “Orange Is the New Black.” WHAT? WHY? NOOOOOOOOOO! And repeat.

To quote Alex Vause herself, DON’T YOU FUCKING LEAVE ME.

Buzzfeed reported yesterday that Laura hadn’t signed a contract yet and would not be a regular for season two. She would only appear in a limited number of episodes to essentially wrap up the Alex/Piper storyline. WHAT? WHY? NOOOOOOOOOO! And just yesterday I had rejoiced at our glorious summer of lesbian love on television. This is what I get for not knocking on wood first. To be even more gay than I already am and quote Tegan and Sara, WHERE DOES THE GOOD GO?

Sorry for to copious all caps, but my BIG LESBIAN FEELINGS can hardly take it. We threw our pies for her. Does this mean we’re getting a lot more of Larry (ugh, Larry) next season? Oh my God, just make it “The Larry & Pennsatucky Show” and I can officially cancel my Netflix subscription and give that $8 a month to orphaned puppies like Sarah McLachlan keeps demanding I do anyway.

There have been reports (from Variety, HuffPost, TV Guide) that Netflix is saying the story is “not accurate.” I am not a person who prays, but I am lighting a virtual candle for hope that Prepon has a change of heart. Still the always reliable @Snoodit at The Hollywood Reporter confirmed her exit. So sounds like we’re going to get a lot less Alex in the second season and that makes me sad beyond belief.

It should be noted that there’s nothing right now to indicate that Alex Vause is being intentionally written out of the show. Reports says Laura did not sign a contract to be a series regular, not that she wasn’t offered a contract to be a series regular. It is being left open for her to possibly return to the show in the future. So I don’t think the series is purposefully being de-gayed. Which is good. Though, how did Netflix not lock her into a multi-year deal beforehand? Shit, those “Glee” kids are enslaved for seven years (though, clearly, the studio retained the right to drop them earlier if they wanted).

The good news is the show isn’t just one person and there are a lot (like a lot – Nicky, Crazy Eyes, Taystee, Big Boo, Sophia, Red, et al) of other reasons to keep watching. This remains one of the most female-friendly and ethnically diverse programs on the air. And it still has lesbian and bisexual characters and the potential for same-sex relationships abound. But it also can’t be denied that the Piper and Alex storyline was at the heart of this merry band of incarcerated misfit and malcontents.

(SPOILERS, but seriously, if you haven’t binged-watched the whole thing at this point you have only yourself to blame.) That’s part of why the ending to the first season was so terribly gutting. In losing the possibility of Alex, Piper also loses touch with the part of her humanity that would keep her from, say, smashing in a methhead Jesus freak’s face. Alex, for all her flaws, was a big part of what was good about Piper – her wild impulses, her sense of adventure, her endless yearning. How can something that felt so inevitable end? Plus, think of all the hot shower sex we will be missing.

Also, we are legitimately going to have to have a wake for Alex Vause’s Glasses.

A world where Alex Vause isn’t constantly adjusting her glasses is a world without rainbows and unicorns. This is Tara Maclay bad. This is Dana Fairbannks bad. Is it raining somewhere in the world? Then it’s from the collective tears of lesbians soaking the Earth in our sorrow. Too much? Fuck everything, not enough. I will not be consoled. THIS IS ALEX VAUSE.

Will begging help? I am not above begging.

p.s. Yo, “Orphan Black,” don’t get any funny ideas and kill off Cosima or I take back every nice thing I ever said about this lesbian TV summer.

Best. Lesbian. TV. Summer. Ever.

Hey, how’s your summer going? Did you go camping? Plant an organic vegetable garden? Knit a sweater out of your cat’s shedded hair? Hopefully not the latter. Though, if we’re being honest, you probably did what ever other lesbian did. You sat in front of a screen and watched TV. Like, a lot of TV. Like, a lot of good TV. Like, seriously, is this the Best. Lesbian. TV. Summer. Ever. or what? The ass-shaped dent in my couch says yes.

Lesbians have been all over TV these long, hot months. Lesbians on “Pretty Little Liars.” Lesbians on “Orange Is the New Black.” Lesbians on “The Fosters.” Lesbians on “Mistresses.” Lesbians on “Under the Dome.” Lesbians on “The Killing.” Lesbians on “True Blood.” Lesbians on “The Bridge.” Lesbians on “Orphan Black” (fine, that was technically spring, but many folks didn’t catch up until the summer and also Tatiana Maslany). Granted, some of the lesbians and their same-sex relationships were more central to the story than other. Like, what the hell, “True Blood?” If I don’t see some Pam and Tara action before this completely ridiculous season is over I’ll spike your cocktails with Hep-V myself. And, yes, there has been a couple of unfortunately Dead Lesbians.

But, overall, as far as rich, diverse and quality content goes, this summer TV season is kicking all the other TV season’s ass when it comes to quantity and quality for us gay gals. We’re not just peripheral characters to fill a requisite quota. We’re integral to the plot, we’re the reason for the plot. We matter and better yet we’re making people care. And, dayum, some of us are hot. I mean, it’s summer – we should be hot. The days of summer TV being a wasteland are over. Step it up, Fall TV. You’re getting served this summer. I hope this Best. Lesbian. TV. Summer. never ends.

p.s. Further proof that this was truly the Best. Lesbian. TV. Summer. Ever., my dear friend Heather rightfully won the Zeebox $10,000 Get A Room Contest with her Heather Hogan's Summer TV Shenanigans Room.

Everybody Dance Now

Thursday dance break, y’all. So, I’ll admit, “Rizzoli & Isles” recap season takes a lot of my brain power and funnels it into me, staring at a lit screen in the middle of the night and thinking, “What’s another way to say, ‘These two would totally be fucking in the real world?’” (p.s. You can read those recaps here, by the way. This week’s recap should post a little later today. Please and thank you for the clicks/comments.)

So today I just need to shake it out. Like get up and move the body. Or, you know, watch other people get up and move their bodies. Vicarious dancing is a thing, people. A thing. And because “Orphan Black” and “Orange Is the New Black” are my two favorite pop culture addictions at the moment, please enjoy these totally unsolicited, but totally irresistible dance breaks.

Helena from “Orphan Black”

This is exactly how you’d think Helena would dance.

Alison from “Orphan Black”
This is not how you’d except Alison to dance. Daaaayum.

Taystee from “Orange Is the New Black”

I am so excited that Danielle Brooks got promoted to a series regular. Mo Taystee, mo better.

Big Boo from “Orange Is the New Black”

With an assist from Crazy Eyes. Man, I could write an essay about my love to Crazy Eyes. You’ve been warned.

Got some favorite dance breaks? Sharing is caring, ladies.

Orange Is the New Rainbow

I can’t stop thinking about “Orange Is the New Black,” because – duh – it’s awesome. Plus, dude, Laura Prepon. But it’s also because the show is so different from anything on our TV radar right now. And one of those ways is in its brilliant, brilliant diversity.

Some shows feature mostly white casts with one or two tokens thrown in for appearances. Others feature diverse casts, but that diversity is never addressed other than as a pleasant, unspoken rainbow coalition. But “Orange Is the New Black” takes the forced integration of a former NPR-listening, artisanal soap making, Seven Sisters-educated white woman and makes it its guiding principal.

Still this is also so much more than just a fish-out-of-water story. Upper-class white woman who goes to prison faces horrors and hilarity interacting with the diverse prison population. Sure, we see some of that – especially at first. But then Orange peals back the top layer – the stereotypes and the clichés and assumptions – to show us the soft, fragile center of almost everyone underneath. And that, in and of itself, is extraordinary.

Minority characters – and female characters – are far too often a means to an end in storytelling. The sassy best friend. The street-smart co-worker. The hot lust object. They’re not fully realized people, and were never meant to be. “Orange Is the New Black” could have done that with its diverse cast. Miss Claudette is the sage. Taystee is the comic relief. Diaz is the cautionary tale. And while they have those elements to their characters, they’re much more complex than that. It’s that essential humanity that is so often lacking. People of color become a concept, not an actual person. But not here. Here they’re all real and interesting, flawed and so very human.

The key is that these women are the heroes (and villains) of their own stories. They are not just amusing anecdotes meant to add color to the main character’s life. We know this because most of the time Piper isn’t even aware of their histories – how they got there, what’s happening now. Their backstories are just theirs and ours to know and understand. So these women have their own agency, their own agendas, their own struggles, their own triumphs, their own failures. This matters.



I’m so glad we know more about these women. And I want to learn more; I want to learn everything. Think of the character arc of someone like Crazy Eyes, played by the delightful Uzo Aduba. She begins as a joke, a quick scary-lesbians-in-prison punchline complete with unwanted dispersing of bodily fluids. But then, as we get to know her, she develops organically into a Shakespeare-spouting thespian with an unexpected family. So when Piper’s initial descriptions of her as retold by Larry (ugh, Larry) hurts her it hurts us, too. Not just because of the inherent cruelty in her thoughtless words, but because of the ignorance those first impressions convey. We are all more than our first impression, our stereotypes, our preconceived notions of what we should be. We all deserve to be seen as such.

Or take Sophia, glorious Sophia. As played by real-life transgender actress Laverne Cox, she is a powerful reminder that stories, at their best, change how we view the world. You can’t watch Sophia’s story and say you don’t have a better (not complete, by any means, but better) understanding of trans people’s lives and challenges. It’s a performance, among many on the show, Emmy voters would be wise to take note of next summer. Also, I’d love for Sophia to have a relationship next season, preferably with another woman. I mean if we’re asking for favors from the TV gods, why not be thorough?



I’ve found myself thinking about “Orange Is the New Black” long after finishing the series because the series gave me so much to think about. White privilege, racial separatism, cultural elitism. All these issues get thrown into a place they can’t run from each others because literal bars are holding them back. But in the end we don’t feel imprisoned by their experiences, we feel released. Life is so much richer when we’re given stories that treat everyone’s lives as different, important and real.

p.s. Also, fucking hell, are these ladies funny.

My Weekend Crush

If you tell me you wouldn’t immediately drop your pants if Alex Vause asked you to, I will tell you you are liar-liar pants on fire. Also pants on the floor, because Alex told you to take them off – remember? The strength of the sexual spell Laura Prepon has cast over all of lesbiankind as Alex is impossible to overestimate. Just mention Alex and you’ll get an automatic involuntary moan from almost every gal lady who has watched “Orange Is the New Black.” Mmmmmm, Alex.

Of course, we’ve known Laura for years. The tall red-head (then blonde) from “That 70s Show” with the great voice and dweebie boyfriend. And while we may have liked her before, we certainly love her now. Maybe it’s the black hair. Maybe it’s the been-there, knows-how swagger. Maybe it’s the glasses – definitely it’s the glasses. Sure, Alex isn’t perfect. I mean she worked for an international drug cartel and turned her ex in to the feds. But, hey, we all have our flaws. For instance, I can’t snap with my left hand. You overlook the little things.

What matters is that we know Alex, in her heart of hearts, still loves Piper. Because when you have a connection with someone, it never really goes away. You snap right back into being each other’s little spoons. Also the way Alex adjusts her glasses. Mmmmmm, Alex. Happy weekend, all.

In Praise of Difficult Women

Fuck off, Don Draper, Walter White, Tony Soprano, et al. The age of the male antihero is over. Sure, you’ve had a good run. And, fuck, look at all those shiny, shiny Emmys. But I’m sick of praising all these Difficult Men. You’re “damaged” and “complex” and “tough” and “violent” and “immoral” and yadda yadda. But your time has come and now it’s our time. Welcome to age of Difficult Women.

Granted, there have always been Difficult Women on TV and in pop culture. But they’re usually the nagging voice to be suffered through by Difficult Men. But not anymore. Now they get their own shows and change to shine. And it’s glorious, just fucking glorious.

There’s been a lot of talk recently about how there will never be successful female antiheroes in the media. How there simply can’t be a female Tony Soprano. And, while I agree it’s a different and difficult road women have to travel than men because of – let’s face it – sexism, that doesn’t mean we aren’t around.

There have been others. Nancy Botwin. Patty Hewes. Jackie Peyton. Beatrix Kiddo. Lisbeth Salander. And now we have three stellar new shows – “Orange Is the New Black,” “Orphan Black” and “The Fall” – all revel in the world of the Difficult Women. These might not be antiheroes in the sense of being hypermasculine men who treat the women in their lives like shit and will resort to any means necessary to succeed up to an including murder. But they are antiheroes in the sense that they aren’t traditionally likable, noble or conciliatory female roles. These are women with full agency – or coming into their own agency by way of a year long-stint in prison – who don’t give a shit about being polite.

Orange’s Piper (a whitebread princess thrown into prison and forced to confront herself and fundamentalist methheads), Orphan’s Sarah (a street kid who is no stranger to the long con who fights against an international clonespiracy with lethal force) and Fall’s Stella (a brilliant detective chasing after a serial killer who has no problem with one-night stands and no interest in making nice) are all antiheroes in their own way. They take the traditional narrative of a female heroine and turn key aspects on their head.

I think one of those key elements of a good female antihero is the pushback. Pushing back against the expected. Against the preconceived notions of what we should be, as heroines. This is more than about physical strength, the easiest way to signify a “strong woman.” This is about allowing women to be fucked up and flawed. Allowing women to exist outside the “chick flick” genre. Allowing women to be their own heroes in unheroic ways. That makes them, in some people’s eyes, difficult. And in my eyes, fucking fantastic.

p.s. I finally figured it out. Taylor Schilling of OITNB looks like Heather Armstrong of Dooce. There, you're welcome.

Orange Is the New Obsession

Over the weekend, like almost every other lesbian, I binge watched “Orange Is the New Black.” I did this because I physically could not stop watching. After seeing just the first episode it became an imperative need to immediately consumer the entire first season. If it hadn’t been for the pesky need to sleep, eat, bathe and make a living I would have watched all 13 episodes in one sitting.

I don’t know what else I can lend to the already rousing chorus of praise for Netflix’s newest offering. The series, about an upper-crust white woman’s immersion into the at times harrowing, at times hilarious world of incarceration in a federal women’s prison is magnificent. Words like “rich,” “complex,” “layered” simply cannot be overused here. From the acting to the writing to the casting it’s practically perfect. The ability to both warm and break one’s heart, sometimes in the same episode – fuck sometimes in the same scene – is one not many shows can master.

But here is a show that is able to lay bare some of the things we try not to talk about in polite society – white privilege, racial separatism, cultural elitism, religious fundamentalism, how to make shower flip-flops out of maxi pads. And it does it all with one of the most diverse casts on televisions. (Yes, I know, some take issue with a show with great diversity being set in a prison – but statistics will show that’s the shitty, shitty truth of our shitty, shitty justice system). I love how almost all of the women get a chance to tell their stories. How they got there, why they got there. Who they were, who they want to be. Nothing in “Orange Is the New Black” smacks of tokenism (well, mustachioed men might have a legitimate gripe – you guys are simply awful in this show).

And we haven’t even gotten to the lesbianism, which believe you me is front and center and glorious. The sexual spectrum, including trans stories, is handled deftly. Again, it’s not done for show, it’s done for authenticity. Sometimes gay women go to prison, sometimes women who had a same-sex relationship 10 years ago go to prison. And sometimes those same women run into their exes from 10 years ago at that same prison. And you thought your ex-relationship was complicated. Amateurs.

Still if none of that manages to convince you this show is indeed worth 13-hours of your life, there’s also the delightful game of “How Do I Know Her?” you can play throughout. Hey, where do I know that prison cook Red from? Fuck, that’s Captain Janeway/Kate Mulgrew! Hm, that hippie yoga instructor’s voice sure sounds familiar. Wait, it’s Evelyn Couch’s friend from the vagina workshop in “Fried Green Tomatoes.” Man, I know I’ve seen that meth mouth Tiffany before. Shit, she was Britney’s BFF in “Crossroads” (I’m told, I proudly have not seen that movie). And there’s also Natasha Lyonne and Lea DeLaria and Laura Prepon. Sweet fancy Moses, there is Laura Prepon and her irresistible, inevitable bespectacled swagger. I’d go to prison just to watch her take her glasses on and off. I mean it.

In conclusion, the sleep deprivation is totally worth it. Orange is better than the new black. It’s your new TV obsession.

p.s. Isn’t Regina Spektor’s theme song “You’ve Got Time“ just fucking perfect? Also, I can’t stop humming it.

p.p.s. SPOILERS SPOILER SPOILERS SPOILERS: Can you believe they ended the season like that? Holy fuckity fuck. But seriously, she is fucked. Or at the very least doing more time. Fuck. Hurry up, Season 2.

p.p.p.s. MORE SPOILERS: I fluctuated for a while between feeling sorry and annoyed for Larry. But then he exploited her experiences for his career, without even asking full permission first, he became insufferable. So, hope your NPR tote is really useful in hell, Larry.

Prison blues (and oranges)

I have a confession to make. A real, honest to goodness confession that may or may not have a direct impact on my lesbian street cred from here on out. Are you ready? OK. I haven’t watched much of the women in prison genre. Gosh, just admitting it makes me feel lighter. I’ve never seen “Chained Heat” or “Caged Fury” or “Girls in Prison” (even though the latter had both Ione Skye and Anne Heche). Nor did I watch “Bad Girls,” despite the repeated berating of my nearest and dearest friends whose pop culture taste I trust absolutely.

In fact I think the only women in prison-genre film I’ve seen is “Stranger Inside,” a 2001 HBO movie offering from out filmmaker Cheryl Dunye. And I watched that just for the lezzy scenes. As I recall, if I can recall a dozen years ago, it was good stuff. Gritty. Hot. Poignant. Hot. Wait, why haven’t I watched more of the women in prison genre?

But now, I have a chance to make up for it. There are not one, but two new series to enjoy with ladies behind bars. The first is “Orange is the New Black,” a new series debuting today on Netflix. From the creator of “Weeds,” the story follows a woman who ends up in prison 10 years after becoming a drug mule for her then girlfriend/international drug trafficker. It’s based on a true story and features bisexual, lesbian and trans women characters. It looks dark and funny and dark and funny some more.



I can’t wait to get home tonight and start watching.

But then there’s also “Wentworth.” The Australian drama and remake of the 80s Aussie soap “Prisoner.” It’s been compared to “Breaking Bad,” which I also don’t watch. But I know people love it. And there’s also lezzy stuff because women’s prison, yo.



Is it just me or does the older woman remind you of prison Martha Stewart. Wait, is that redundant?

I’m not sure my delicate, law-abiding sensibilities can watch two women in prison shows simultaneously. But I do know prison jumpsuits never looked so appealing.